RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1.  Two times a week we go to a n ice restaurant, have a Little beverage, good food and companionship She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.   2.  We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .   3.  I take my wife everywhere.... But she keeps finding Her way back.   4.  I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our Anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.   5.  We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.   6.  She has an electric blender, electric toaster and Electric bread maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place To sit down!"  So I bought her an electric chair.   7.  My wife told me the car wasn't running well Because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was.  She told me, "In the lake."   8.  She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.   9.  She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I Too late for the garbage?"  The driver said, "No, Jump in!" 10.  Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of Divorce.   11.  I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first Name was Always.   12.  I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months I don't Like to interrupt her.   13.  The last fight was my fault though.  My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"   Can't you just hear him say all of these?  I love it........ These were the good old days,when humor didn't have to start With a four letter word.  It was just clean and simple fun.   And he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless."