RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE


1.  Two times a week we go to a n ice restaurant, have a
Little beverage, good food and companionship
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
 
2.  We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .
 
3.  I take my wife everywhere.... But she keeps finding
Her way back.
 
4.  I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
Anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
 
5.  We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
 
6.  She has an electric blender, electric toaster and
Electric bread maker.
She said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place
To sit down!"  So I bought her an electric chair.
 
7.  My wife told me the car wasn't running well
Because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was.  She told me, "In the lake."
 
8.  She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
 
9.  She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I
Too late for the garbage?"  The driver said, "No,
Jump in!"
10.  Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of
Divorce.
 
11.  I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
Name was Always.
 
12.  I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months I don't
Like to interrupt her.
 
13.  The last fight was my fault though.  My wife asked,
"What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
 
Can't you just hear him say all of these?  I love it........
These were the good old days,when humor didn't have to start
With a four letter word.  It was just clean and simple fun.
 
And he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless."
 

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