कुछ सामयिक जोक्स

1

PETROL PRICE HIKED AGAIN

History (for this Black Day) will say:

When the government was robbing the country,

the Indians were busy watching IPL .

 2

New Greetings:

May your happiness increase like Petrol Price,

May your sorrow fall like Indian Rupee, and

May joy fill your heart like corruption in India.

3 

Congress was fulfilling its promise, when they said that GDP would rise this year.   Only thing, the letters stood for

G= Gas & Gold

 D= Diesel & Dollar

  P= Petrol & Penny.

4 

Pleasure and Pain now come for the same price :

Rs. 80 for a bottle of beer and

Rs. 80 for a liter of petrol.

Choice is yours: Zhum Lo ya Ghum Lo.

5 

All Girls’ Dreams come True!

All Girls’ Dream men will now come on horses.  

(Thanks to the petrol price hike.)

6 

Dear Father-in-Law,

I deeply regret taking a Car in dowry.

Please take back either your Daughter or the Car .

I cannot afford them both.

 7

Now Tata Nano’s fuel cost per month will be more than its EMI !

8 

Soon, Rupee will be SENIOR CITIZEN (above Rs.60 per US Dollar).

Petrol has already become SUPER SENIOR CITIZEN in Bangalore(Rs.81 per litre) .

8

 Finally it has happened. After decaBeer is now cheaper than petrol in India Now, there will be new slogan: 'JUST DRINK.  DON’T DRIVE'       Because, 'Drink and  drive' is no longer a problem.  After all, how many in India can now afford both alcohol AN petrol on the same day?

 10

We have the world’s cheapest car and the world’s costliest petrol.  

 रिकॉर्ड   बन गया !

 11

Sign board at Petrol pump : "Buy Petrol worth Rs. 20,000/-  and get a

TATA Nano absolutely free."

12

 A nice scheme for आम   आदमी   J

 Now he can get a car WITH petrol.   Good.   Please forward this to maximum  number of people you know, शायद   किसी   को   काम आ   जाए .

13

 Even now,  those who wish to have petrol at Rs. 6 per Ltr, may please collect it from :- Saudi Arabia

14

Man at Petrol Pump : Tank full   कर   दो ...  

Attendant : Sir, PAN Card   की   copy   दो ...  

Man : What? Why? How?  

Attendant : Sir, it’s a HIGH VALUE TRANSACTION .  

15

 

Petrol price now Rs. 80 per litre.  

और   करो   संता - बंता   के   jokes!   Aur badhegi petrol ki price !  

16

 

Harbhajan to Dhoni:   हम   तो   जानबूझ   के मैच   हारे  ... पता   है   की   जीतनेवाली   टीम   कोVolkswagen   मिलने   वाली   है ,   और   वो   petrol की   है .  

 17

Amitabh Bachchan has decided to take all his payments in Dollars,  

because  

वो   आज   भी   गिरे   हुए   पैसे   नहीं   उठiता .  

18

 

Dharmendra’s new dialogue:  

कुत्ते ... कमीने ... तेरी   गड्डी   का   पेट्रोल   पी जाऊंगा .  

19

 

Beti : Mom, He is JUST A FRIEND!  

Mom :   हमने   दुनिया   देखि   है ,   बेटी ...   2   लीटर पेट्रोल   जलाके   घर   आने   वाला   कभी  JUST FRIEND   नहीं   होता .  

20

 

Petrol Pump Attendant :   कितने   का   डालूँ ?  

Grahak : 50 ml   गाडी   पे   स्प्रे   कर   दे   भाई , आग   लगानी   है .  

21

 

Dear Rupee,  

तुम   मेरे   प्यार   में   इतना   गिर   जाओगे ,  

ये   मैंने   सपने   में   भी   नहीं   सोचा   था .  

~ तुम्हारा   Dollar.  

22

 

रामचंद्र   कहे   गए   सिया   से ,   ऐसा   कलयुग आएगा ,  

कार   कैश   पे   लेगा   हर   कोई ,   पेट्रोल   लोन   से भरवाएगा ...!!