A GF is not one who says

A GF is not one who says,
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“Main teri kismat me nai, tum mujhe bhul jao”
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A true GF is one who says,
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“Tu padhai pe dehaan de, placement ke baad ghar se utha lena..♥

kamal

A Rohit who was driving a car with Bhabhi ji was stopped by a police officer. The following exchange took
place.
The Rohit says, “What’s the problem, officer?”
Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.”
Rohit: “No sir, I was going 65.”
Bhabhi ji: “Oh, Rohit. You were going 80.” (The Rohit gave Bhabhi ji a dirty look.)
Officer: “I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight. ”
Rohit: “Broken taillight? I didn’t know about a broken taillight!”
Bhabhi ji: “Oh Rohit, you’ve known about that taillight for weeks.” (The Rohit gave Bhabhi ji another dirty look.)
Officer: “I’m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.”
Rohit: “Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.”
Bhabhi ji: “Oh Rohit, you never wear your seat belt.”
The Rohit turned to Bhabhi ji and yelled, “SHUT YOUR MOUTH!”
The officer turned to the Bhabhi and asked, “Ma’am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?”
The Bhabhi ji said, “No, only when he’s drunk.”

Animated Images 200

पालतू मछली

बंता मछलियां पकड़ने में काफी माहिर था और बड़ी-बड़ी मछलियाँ पकड़ने के लिए मशहूर था. एक दिन वो बड़ी सी मछली पकड़कर टोकरी में लेकर घर की तरफ आ रहा था तभी एक अधिकारी ने उसे रोका और पूछा क्या तुम्हारे पास मछली पकड़ने का लाइसेंस है! 
बंता ने जवाब दिया लाइसेंस? कैसा लाइसेंस? लाइसेंस की तो कोई जरुरत ही नहीं है ये तो मेरी पालतू मछली है! 
पालतू मछली? अधिकारी ने पूछा! 
बंता ने जवाब दिया जी हाँ सर 'पालतू' हर रात को मैं इसे इस झील में डाल देता हूँ और थोड़ी देर के बाद मैं एक सीटी बजाता हूँ और ये कूदकर झील के किनारे पर आ जाती हैं और टोकरी में डालकर घर ले जाता हूँ! 
ये तो तुम मेरा सरेआम बेवकूफ बना रहे हो मछली ऐसा कर ही नहीं सकती! 
बंता ने अधिकारी से कहा कि आप ये चाहते हैं कि मैं आपको ये सब करके दिखाऊं! 
अधिकारी ने उत्सुकता से कहा कि बिल्कुल जरुर देखना चाहूंगा!
 बंता ने मछली को पानी में डुबो दिया और वहीँ खड़ा हो गया थोड़ी देर वहीँ रुकने के बाद अधिकारी ने बंता से कहा: फिर? 
बंता: फिर क्या? 
अधिकारी ने पूछा तो तुम अपनी मछली को वापिस नहीं बुला रहे हो! 
बंता ने कहा: मछली?... कौन सी मछली? 

THE HUMOR OF SMARTS

THE HUMOR OF SMARTS

 

Smart Train Driver

 

A train got off rails, started running in fields all around and ultimately stopped. Inquiry was made. Driver was strongly rebuked and asked the reason.

 

He explained "Well this idiot was standing right on the track of the train, was not paying attentions to horns, making vulgar funny gestures ridiculing me and not moving away.

 

The inquirers angrily asked, "Well you idiot, you should have crushed and killed him rather than getting off track and risk so many passengers' life to save his."

 

The driver said, "Sir, I wanted exactly to do that, I was angry at his vulgar gestures at me, so I raised the speed of the train to crush him. When train came closer, that jerk got off tracks and started running in the fields and I started chasing to kill him as you said."

 

Animation 174

1. Bigger is better

ZODIAC